She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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