I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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