Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
We just shotgunned beers for America
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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