Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
