Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
