Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
