Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
