): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
