fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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