She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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