I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
