you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I am never drinking with the goths again.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Dicks are not precious.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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