Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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