Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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