Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
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