I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
