how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Randomize
