My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
