She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
