In the future we'll all be gay
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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