i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
