i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
