You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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