you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
