a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
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