i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
