I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
