Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
