I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
