shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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