so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
