when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
