i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
