so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
