Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
