So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
