For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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