From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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