Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
