508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
