You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
