What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
