yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
