looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Randomize