We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
