we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Terrible idea I love it
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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