apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
