does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
