how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
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