I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
