just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
