A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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