K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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