I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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