i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
