i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
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