when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Randomize
