Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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