so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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