talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
