Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
