what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
