I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
