If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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